2. Does this relationship let you love yourself?
While we all dream of finding love in a soulmate, the most important person to love is yourself. Who you are when you’re with your partner is a major indicator of whether you should be with them or not. We’ve all known people who change when they’re in a relationship, and while change isn’t a negative thing in and of itself, the question to ask is: Is it a good or bad change?
According to marriage and family therapist Louise Armstrong, negative changes can occur if you’re desperate for a partner’s validation. Yearning for attention and praise creates a basis for unhealthy neediness.
That’s why self-love is so important—find that validation within yourself instead of looking outward! Relationships are about choosing the right version of yourself more than they are about choosing your perfect partner. Do you like who you are when you’re with this person? Introspection can be scary, but it’s also an eye-opener. Does the relationship seem like a duty you should fulfil but don’t truly desire? Or does it feel like a fresh perspective you’ve been craving?
Relationships can act as a foundation for self-examination and self-awareness, which are two critical factors in helping you figure out if you’re in the right relationship. By asking yourself these questions (and being honest about them), you’re not just setting yourself up for success romantically. You’re learning more about yourself, which never has a downside.
